Sunshine Soul

If you try to bury me, I become a seed

If you try to smoke me, I become a weed,

and you throw me into air, I become an eagle.

These lines sum up what I am trying to pen down in my post today. Every one has been through rough path, shitty nights, dreaded mornings, but I say what next man! We are wasting our time sulking, isn't it? The other day I was looking at Milind IRONMAN Soman, doesn't it hit our pessimist brain. Don't jump saying g that optimism and all that crap looks good in motivational books, this guy has done it right here in your face. Take a bow from me. 

We have all been in that space where nothing goes right and everything hits you hard. If you feel like crying, go ahead and shed a tear or two but then thats it. Don’t spoil another moment because you are adding to your own pain that way. You need to be a little strong to raise your head and get up to face the storm. Its normal to sit in bed and sulk, it takes guts to come out and walk on the street. 

We have all read the story of an ant who keeps falling off the wall but does not give up. We ain’t competing with the ant, we can push our limits further without a doubt. So many people around us fight cancer and tumor and come back to the screen to tell their stories and assured us that if they can do it, we also can bounce back at any time. Have you read about Narayan Murthy, who at one point of time used to bank on his girlfriend ( now his wife) for his leisure expenses is now one of the most influential and one of the greatest entrepreneur 

There are millions of stories around us where a slum dweller gets through IIT, daughter of an auto driver becomes a doctor, a physically abused housewife starts an Anti dowry cell and millions more. We need to stop reading and start learning from these incidents. We need not give up because we could not get through an exam or because your girlfriend cheated on you. Be your own sunshine, rise and bloom.

The generalized fan speaks

On a hot and dry Saturday evening, I am trying to think about the last three days full of consecutive events. These have been very busy, nervous and stressful 72 hours for Salman Khan and his fans. And mad three days for the media persons.

The story has a badass hero who is drunk and is illegitimately driving his vehicle and then mercilessly drives over 5 men, out of which one dies and four others are injured. Now this ruthless, directionless and bratty person should be punished.

After 13 years of endless waiting, the court decides that this anti human person needs to serve 5 years of jail. The most intelligent and sensible members of the society fill twitter and other social handles with the JUSTICE PREVAILS slogans. We hear people saying that at last the judiciary has proved that every criminal will be punished. Sadly, the actor’s bail is extended and he successfully gets to sleep in his own bed. Adding further to the madness, he gets a bail from a higher court.

Media is gets back in action and social media is full of INJUSTICE TO THE POOR slogans. Every news hour debate is critical of the laidback and outdated and biased Judiciary. Film fraternity is abused for standing by a very popular actor who also has approx. RS. 25 Million riding on him. Some very popular TV Hosts take charge of the entire situation and tries to ask the Defense side on their poor performance and tells them what they could have done. It’s because of their incompetence that the actor got away so easily. The court that naturally favors the influential rich people is a shame to the nation.

Apparently the battle turns into Stardom vs. Criticism. People are pouring in the media houses to express their resentment towards the star and his massive support system and labels like insensitive and inhuman. It seemed that people who prayed and cared for the star were criminals too. None of those fans or co-stars were sane enough to think even one for the deceased and the injured.

In fact, I am also a big fan of the star since I was child and simply thought of him highly as I kept reading a lot about his humanitarian work. He was a known celeb who was always in news for some controversy or the other. Sometimes he hit his girlfriends or some other times he hurled abuses at the paparazzi. Despite all of this, I only grew fonder of him. Is it a crime to be a fan or a supporter? Certainly what happened that night wasn’t an act of heroism or pride? It was a crime and a brutal one, but it was certainly not intentional.

Many of the critics are asking that would we still support him if one of our family members were injured in that accident. I will ask them would they not support the accused if he were their family member. They demand a longer jail term for him. I say that hasn’t he suffered for last 13 years? Did he not go through the trauma of that night during his sleep everyday? Now some of those critics will shower a lot of love on me for being a pro-criminal.

None of the people who support the actor are supporting what he did. We don’t support drunk driving or driving without a license for that matter, let alone killing someone. But love defies logic, it really does. We are just standing by him like a loving family because he has amassed all that love over years when he helped poor children for heart surgery or when he recently adopted a family in Kashmir.

We are not legal experts nor are we emotionally unsound. We are common people with regular sentiments of hero worship. We do not apply logic but we would never support a murder. As a fan this is what I think of a man whom I have worshipped as my hero since my innocent days.

Lets stay sane and continue our faith in the law. Nevertheless, the biggest and grandest court awaits all of us once we leave our bodies. And there justice will never be denied or delayed.

PS : This post has been written in blue font because its Salman's favorite color. 

The Forty-Fied Men

I have this unquenchable thirst of writing what I feel (mostly I speak the same way), which got me the fame of a witty yet a khadoos person. Even my blogs share the same fate and more often than not I keep getting emails brimming with advises from people who don't even know a thing about me or about writing and whose wasted effort I would never acknowledge.

Another thing about me is that I am a very opinionated person. Right from the Chinese food to the First Lady of the US, I have an opinion about everything.  When it comes to men, my views often dangerous and brow raising. Not that I am anti men or something, its just that people take a dig at women especially we Indians not only make fun of our ladies but also have no shame about it.

Whatever it may be my favorite targets are men in their early forties. I find them the most lethal of the entire fraternity. You can find them all around, juniors of your fathers, your seniors (teachers also) and in every colony as your neighbors.

Not that this age group is particularly sexually deprived, just that they are out of the league of any steamy romantic life at home or otherwise. Plus their age is the one where they must sound really intelligent and influential. They are a little overage to be called elder brothers and underage to be called uncles. I prefer none, as I don’t want to address this group because they make me feel a little cautious all the time. You can’t read what they exactly look forward to.  I know a few of them who are perfectly normal ones. They scan the girls with lusty eyes and never fail to appreciate the arousing nature of the fairer sex. They have a very fine taste for women in their mid twenties.

These kinds of men would offer to be your godfathers, friends and confidants. They would give you ideas and advises and make you feel that they always drink an elixir from the waterfall of wisdom. Sometimes they are successful in trapping the talkative and so called weaker sex. At other times when they are facing women like me who are stubborn and far too independent, they turn into divine critics. They would find everything about us to be utterly annoying. From high morals to big dreams which they know nothing about.

I m sure there would be many who would not be able to relate to what I am writing and my target audience might even label me as a disoriented feminist, nothing to worry; I had stopped bothering long back. All I would want to say that modern day women are neither foolish nor dependent. Go back to your homes and love the women who look after your home and your kids.

The Great Indian Family Circus

Recently I went to watch a movie. Not that there is something great about me watching the movie, but I was reluctant to go in the firsts place, as I had no interest, however my friends were interested to watch it. By the time movie ended I was in love with it. This happens with most of us. If not a movie then may be a place or person.

We are experts in being judgmental. We form and declare our opinions without even a backing of logic. We keep talking and gossiping about people without even interacting with the victim even once. That’s so convenient and gives our coffee a purpose. Otherwise it would be very difficult to go out for a coffee or for shopping if we have to first know a person and then gossip about them.

By the way Indian pickles are best in class and are famous around the world for the tangy and spicy flavors and so are our gossip factories. Go to any Indian family of four members (or three) especially when their relatives visit (Like the Tauji’s and the Buaji’s). Indian kids of my age have a record of hating their aunts to the core. I am sure nobody would want to know the reason, as it is the obvious one. A girl in the house who is 25 years old; single and working is a grave issue. A boy in the house aged 27 and above; working for an MNC and earning a heavy salary is worse than a widower.

Trust me I am not exaggerating, it can be proved if we go out to interview any person who is single and in mid twenties. The buck does not stop here. Oh, married for three years and no news of The Good News. Serious crime buddy. I mean when would you plan your family? After retirement? Did you see Sharma ji’s daughter, such short hair and the shorter skirt!

The best remedy to get this chain reaction under control is be honest with your family about your choices and preference and just love them. I mean nobody really matters when your family supports you. The relatives? Lets them keep the gossip machines churning.

One thing is for sure that the relatives, the neighbors are truly the catalyst (explosive ones) in the Great Indian Family Reaction.

Beyond The Horizon

Few days back I was speaking to a friend of mine about the current emotional dynamics in people of my generation. We spoke a lot about the commitment phobic orientation of the youth regardless of the gender. While brainstorming on what exactly commitment is, we concluded that commitment is a simple feeling of accepting the person the way he or she is i.e. with all the flaws and respecting the differences. It is easy to say that you don’t understand me and very tough to say that lets try to understand each other. A small misunderstanding leads to differences for a lifetime.  This lack of dedication and commitment is due to the fact that we are rigid, we want to stick to our shells and yet enjoy the benefits. The moment we are pulled out of our comfort zones, we snap the ties and look for an alternative source of happiness. This is not only for relationships but also for our careers.  Whenever we face a dicey situation or a rough patch, we give up, we do not fight to survive, and rather we succumb to the situation and kill the opportunity.

Physics has this famous Law of Inertia, which underlines the fact that we resist change. We are so unconsciously rigid that any minor change becomes a struggle for us. Imagine that you stop getting your bed tea, any idea about the result? Painful headache till you get your tea. This simple logic is applicable to every change we are subjected to. A situation where we face an unfavorable result, we are totally dismantled.  It gives us a feeling that world is collapsing and we needed to rush out of the situation. This approach actually robs the chance of emerging as a winner. Simple misjudgment and resistance to change takes away our chance to shine.

We generally have the tendency of judging people straight away. More often than not we do not even try to understand the situation but reach the conclusions straight away. You hardly know why the person has landed into such a situation, so stop being calculative about them. Such miscalculations are often disastrous for us. We should learn to adopt the thought process that if someone has taken a decision or said something, then there has to be a concrete reason behind that decision. Learn to accept feedback; learn to accept someone the way he or she is. Don’t force your thought process onto everyone. They can’t think like you because they are not you; their priorities in life are different; their experiences are different. Learn to agree to disagree. Express your thought but don’t force others to accept your line of thought. It is very important to co-exist with people of different line of thought while maintaining your own distinct identity.

Our vision is generally restricted and influenced. The day we learn to look beyond the horizon, we will learn to accept people around us with their present realities and challenges. Infact, it would be still a better world if we acknowledge the fact that there are things beyond the horizon which we cannot see or understand at this point of time. And eventually, if we try to understand people around us or situations we face, we can develop the skill of accepting things and people gracefully with a lot of room for improvement and learning. And if this happens, there is no looking back from that point, life will treat you with a lot of respect and happiness will always be around.

Winner Stands Alone

Going by the title you might think of Paulo Coelho’s book with the same title, however this blog and the book have nothing in common except the name. Generally speaking, people on the top feel alone. There are many people around them, willing to cash on their success, but hardly anybody who is a true companion. This is very common with fame related careers; however every successful person faces this sooner or later. Sometimes it sounds so bizarre that we take so many pains to reach that height and once we do, the charm is all gone as we hardly have anybody around us to share the vibe.

Winner not only stands alone, but also struggles alone to become the winner. You never seek refuge, never look for help, you need to go through the pain all alone and as a result you steal the show in the end when everybody else is in the audience and is clapping. Whatsoever, being on the podium doesn’t come that easy.

Infact it takes a great deal to reach the top. The effort, the struggle is not easy. There would be people who would want to pull you down, misguide you and make you feel less confident. There would be times when you would feel like giving up, don’t do that. Think of the day when that dream would come true. Think of that success. The moments when you would feel whatever you are doing is worthless and fruitless. Those nights when you fail to sleep, fail even to dream. Hold on to all the effort you have put in, it is going to pay you soon.

There would be times when you will be frustrated because nothing goes right, nothing bears fruit, nobody hears you out, nobody understands you, everyone out there looks at you with hatred and disgust, and nevertheless you need to keep going. You need to keep working, keep burning the midnight oil. You keep going on the carved path because that’s what makes you different from the audience. That’s what is going to make everyone else clap for you and make them crave to be your near ones. All this would happen only eventually, till that time you need to fight, struggle and work hard alone.

Remember the pole star? The shiny one in the night which shows direction to the sailors, it is different, and yet alone. Don’t give up, keep trying and one day you will become the pole star no matter people around you are genuinely with you or not.

Time is eternal

Most of the reviews I get for my blog appreciate me for my selection of topics I write about, however this one goes to one of my friend who was discussing on this topic with me a couple of days back. I could not agree more to the fact that time is the most powerful of the aspects of one's existence. Time shows us what we are and what everybody else is. You get what you deserve on the right time. The time which goes in waiting for that success is the testing one.It shows you the true picture of people around you. And nothing else is eternal except time. 

The interesting part is that with time everything settles down in life. Time gives us the comfort of accepting the failures and mistakes.However, my personal take is that settle down but never forget the lesson your mistakes have given you. And learn from it,improve on what you lacked and get up and gear up for another battle. I see people badly shattered by a heartbreak or an untimely death of someone, the power of time is that such wounds are healed sooner or later, although such wounds won't leave you completely and they keep happening to you on and off and the déjà vu prevails.

Time shows you how strong are you and how intense are your emotions. Time shows you how true are your relationships. Whatever is fake, necessarily fades away with time. I see people making so many promises to oneself and to others as well and they appear to be so dedicated, only time shows us the true face of such commitment. The desperation goes weak with time. The passion goes missing. The fire goes cold and thats how we achieve the most hated failures. We need to survive the test of time if our goals and commitments matter to us. Same goes for relationships we feel are important. We can't take things for granted. We need to put in our best incase we want to achieve the best results.

The most important thing which I have realised over the period of time is that if your intentions are right then someday or the other things will fall into place. This doesn't mean that you leave things to time. If we need desired results on time, you need to put in your efforts. You need to be honest to yourself. You need to be honest to your commitments and intentions. Be honest, put in ample hard work and time will favour you, at least when your intentions are true.